Swirling Mind

by FlywithZeroRockest
British Columbia, Canada
genre: Mystery

It’s black, or maybe it’s nothing at all. It appears when I’m in my bed, keeping me awake. Drowning my mind; it’s a forever battle. Why, what’s happening, how do I escape, these words fill my mind. The words, the words never stop coming and going, trapping me with an infinite force.

Creak - the sound of metal is born. The words freeze with fear as the sound starts to consume them. The sound, it’s mocking me, the thing turns red - or maybe it doesn’t. I feel my heart beat; it’s alive. I open my eyes only to see nothing, the sound stops as if it was never born. The words are back, but slower, being tied to ice, they try to trap me. Why, lies, demise, the words are making me sick, is it because they are tied by ice or am I sick from the thing turning to a dark scarlet?

I close my eyes hoping for everything to stop, hoping to feel safe. I can’t tell if time is alive; I don't know how long it’s been. The words tell me to hold my breath, to stop moving.  I hear the sound of a door opening slowly like a drop of sweat going down my face. As I hear the sound, the words in my head start to fight amongst themselves - danger, safe, am I going to die? 

The thing hasn’t changed, or maybe it wasn’t even real. The sound, is it still alive, was it ever alive? What’s real? I can’t tell. If I open my eyes I’ll know, but what if the words are right? Right now, anything or nothing can be real. 

Squeak - the sound of the floor being pressed, or is it the roof? Someone inside, the words tell me - no, they're lying to me. Why are they lying to me? Is it because of the thing that does not exist? No, it can’t be - creak! Another sound is born, causing the words to speed up in flames. It hurts, the words hurt. I want to be free of the dark scarlet thing that I can’t tell is real. I want to be safe.

Why are you not safe? the words ask me. Creak - another sound is made by the roof being pressed - or is it the floor? - as if the sound was eager to answer the question the words asked. No, the sound was wrong, or was it? I can’t tell, when did this happen, when did the thing start to show up, why does it do this to me, is it even doing this to me?

When they left, the words told me. You’re not safe because you’re alone. No - yes - the words are lying to me again. The thing is starting to change again - no, it’s not real. The words won’t stop spinning. 

Shing! - the sound roars in my mind. The words explode in my head as my eyes open to see a knife. I scream as the knife enters my throat, causing it to turn into gargles. Who, what, why, the words scream - but they soon fall silent. The thing starts to turn into the colour of death. 

No, I don’t want to die, not with this thing in me, not while I’m still alone. When I die I’ll be alone forever.

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